Shall we dance?

During my internship I did a short training on the different types of communication. I found it interesting to show students examples of acting passive look like, or how aggressive type people often end up causing their friends to show more passive traits. I guess that goes along with “too many cooks in the kitchen” thought that you only need one ring leader, or else things end up messy. As I continue to get farther and farther into a job which has a focus on being the leader of your own needs and path, I have begun to be more cognizant of the lesser discussed, but much more prevalent type; the passive aggressive individual.

I find it to be interesting how adults seem to be so confused about this. If I’m frustrated about something, especially when I have found myself being frustrated by many things, I may choose to discuss the issue with my peers or immediate supervisor prior to addressing it with the person I am frustrated with. I find this to help me weed out the issues worth addressing. It’s also human nature, or at least my human nature, to be uncomfortable to confront people about things I think they are doing wrong. I don’t want my friends or coworkers to get too comfortable with the idea of telling me about everything I do wrong, and I would like to not be known as the one always nagging at others. I know that some things are out of the control of anybody, which makes me feel that addressing it is only going to create a bigger rift in the relationship. But, and let’s be clear on this, when something is significant enough, I WILL address it with the appropriate persons as best as I can.

Let’s avoid emails back and forth. Let’s use names and real examples in meetings. Let’s not have separate meetings before the big meeting and then avoid the topic all together. Let’s grow up and not dance around the issues. How are we to set an example to the ones coming up behind us if we can’t find appropriate ways of addressing real life issues? It might actually force us to choose our battles, and alas, become more aware of our true flaws which need correcting.